Christian Dating

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I’ve been getting mixed views on what is moral or immoral to do while dating (within a Christian context).

Until marriage:
No sex… Obvious.
No oral sex… Okay.
2nd base???
Talking dirty?
Making out?
Kissing?
Hugs?
Any physical contact?

What are your viewpoints? Opinions? Advice? Thanks and God bless! ^^
—-> To dizzy r: I’d be mad if touching my breasts DIDN’T make my boyfriend want to have sex with me! Haha! ^^

I’d be inclined to draw a strict line at second base. Beyond that point, I think the temptation curve starts to climb pretty steeply. But everyone is different, and each couple should talk this matter out and agree between themselves. You might try praying together at the beginning of a date.
God bless you both!

So I’ve been dating and talking to this guy for almost over a month now… I’m 16 and I think he’s going to turn 18 soon. He keeps on hinting at stuff about falling in love and he’s really sweet. He became christian about 5 months ago and he’s been really christian ever since. Except now I feel like I might actually distract him form getting close to God because… maybe liking me he begins to think stuff. Like I know he really wants to kiss me… like he kind of hints at it… though I doubt we will and he really wants me to give him a hug… And on our first date we held hands.. kind of… it was cute… and he like poked me and just touched me innocently a lot. But I was wondering… how far as in physical contact can I go when were dating without it leading us to have sex. The things is I’ve never dated before so he’s my first boyfriend and I never touched guys like held hands or stuff like that. It’s all new to me… So I feel really confused…. Please any kind of advice is appreciated. =]
Anyway I kind of let him know that I didn’t want to go any farther than holding hands for now and I wonder if he’s mad at me or upset or something… But then what about respecting me..? And what about his beliefs I’m just doing this because I don’t want him or me to regret things… Will he understand that? And if he doesn’t should we stop this relationship?

Be greatful that you have a boyfriend who is more mature that silly high school boys and is taking things slowly. A month and no kissing is VERY cute. I’m hoping his new found religion will help him in redirecting sexual energy, and you two can get to know each other and have a very lasting relationship without complications of sex. Holding hands, hugs, even innocent cuddling is acceptable. Kissing is probably safe too as long as it doesn’t get too heated.
Go talk to a youth pastor, they will guide you through your relationship teach you how to enjoy each other without it being sexual and really help you out with uncertainties

I’m 22 and waiting until I’m married to have sex. I’m currently dating a girl who has lived with a guy, slept in the same bed as him and had sex several times with him over 2 years. She’s only 20. She’s a Christian now though but I can’t get over the fact that she has been with another guy intimately!!! Are there any guys who are or have been in my similar situation? What helped you get over that? I need some real, Christian guy advice. Serious answers only please.

First of all, as a fellow brother in Christ, I want to commend you on your commitment to save sex for marriage. Too often we see people today giving into the pleasure of a few minutes, only to suffer a lifetime of pain and hurt in the future.

I don’t normally answer questions on here, but the situation you are in is too similar to mine for me to ignore.

I have been a Christian all my life, and constantly seek to glorify Him by living and dedicating my life to Him. I also believe that sex is the ultimate expression of physical love, and is the most special gift anyone can present to the person that they want to dedicate the rest of their life to. If someone commits premarital sex, they are giving that gift away, and tarnishing any future romantic relationships they may have.

Now, obviously, I am a virgin; and am extremely proud of this fact. I cannot wait to let my future wife know that I’ve saved myself for her. Instead of channeling my energy and resources to fulfill sexual needs, I instead look to strengthen my character and serve others.

But I’ve recently fallen for this girl…. She’s a born again Christian, who was saved this past summer. However, her previous life was filled with sin, as she drank and had sex with guys before me, enough guys to number on 2 hands.
I was so devastated when I found out. I was literally torn because I only had one romantic relationship before this point, and had only gone as far as a kiss.
Needless to say, I was more than a little hurt. In fact, I don’t believe anything or anyone else hurt me as much as she did when she told me that.
I was ready to just end things at that point.

But then I remembered. If God, who is the only one who is perfect and holy, can forgive us for all our sins without judgment, who are we to judge others and use their past against them. If she really came to God after her mistakes of the past, and surrendered herself to his forgiveness and mercy, then she is literally, emotionally, and spiritually a new person.
God calls us to forgive one another, and if a perfect God can forgive our sins, both past and current, without question (as long as we are sincere!) and love us with the greatest love of all; shouldn’t we as Christians (who are also guilty of sin) replicate that love toward one another?

I’m not saying it’s easy. My heart aches and burns daily from the suffering that her past brings to me. But I trust that God will allow us to overcome this obstacle, and allow our relationship to prosper. As the first guy she even kissed after God came into her life, I know that she’s changed.
I’m going to continue to trust in God that He will allow me to get over her past; because who she is now is someone who makes me happy and has allowed me to experience love.

If you really love your girlfriend, pray about it. She’s a new person now, she has Jesus in her.
Please keep Jesus Christ in the center of your life and of your current relationship. That’s the only way that your relationship will be able to reach it’s true potential.

Be blessed.

In Him….

I’ve tried many of the popular dating sites already like match and plentyoffish.. I’m a very religious person so I’m looking for a man who shares my views and let me tell you, they’re quite hard to find on those sites!! So i was hoping to hear from you if you have any other advice (could be web sites or irl) to find that special person that shares your religion? i know many christian people meet their soulmates in church but unfortunately I live in a really small town..

Attraction Explained: Your Social Circle

Our social circle is one of the biggest determining factors in who we meet. Going back a bit, in a 1956 study 70% of married American couples lived within 20 blocks of each other before marriage. Now admittedly that was 1956 and this is now, but the basic principle holds true – you’re more likely to find success with someone closer to you than you are someone further way.

So, how do we use this to improve our chances? Simple – we expand our social circle!

1) Network, Network, Network
2) Organise a night out, invite all your friends, tell them to bring friends
3) Join a club. A sports club, a movie club, a dinner club, a sex club – whatever you fancy!
4) Don’t try and jump into an encounter or relationship with every attractive person you meet.
5) Put people in contact with each other.

Read Further… & More Articles on Attraction Explained.

At Attraction Explained we provide a range of free articles and media teaching you the skills you need to improve your luck in love.

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http://www.attractionexplained.com

OK. Let me explain what kind of advice I need. You see, I feel as though I’m growing more and more in Christ, especially these past few days, and so is my girlfriend, Krista. When we first started dating we simply claimed to be so called "Christians" and only acted Godly on Sundays at church. But you see, we’ve grown in our relationship with Christ and just a couple of days ago we decided to take up our cross and actualy do something as christians. We prayed for about 10 minutes and we came out in tears. Now I need to get to the question i was wanting to ask. Just yesterday while me and Krista were at a church lock in she took me by the hands and said "Phillip, before i met you i was involved in some pretty bad things." she then told me a few things that she was involved in (I’m not going to say what but they were BAD). then she said "but when i met you I began growing in Christ and getting closer to God all because of you." she went on about it for a few minutes telling me how i got her know God and how her life would have been in a total wreck had it not been for me. She ended it all by saying "thank you" and walking into my arms. i thought she was on the verge of crying. But so many questions came to my mind when that happened. First of all – I was overjoyed to know that she had chosen God’s path over a sinful one. But i kept wondering – "What was it that i could have done to bring her to the lord?" because i myself wasn’t a good christian at all when i met her. I had never actualy sat down with her and talked with her about Jesus or anything like that and yet she says that I have brought her closer to God than anyone else has. Is she mistaken? If not then what on earth could i have done to get her so close to God? And if so i felt very good about myself about it. Is that ok? am i trying to rob God of what he deserves? In other words (as starange as it may sound) im afraid to feel good about myelf because i fear that it may make me conceited. I know that if i did bring her to the lord than it was God doing it through me therefore i know the credit should go to him but i still feel good about myself for it. Is that a bad thing? If anyone knows the answers to any of these or can give me advice, please i beg that you tell me. May God bless you all.

Not only do people need God they need others to talk to and to look up to. You were a big part of that. God worked through you to bring her closer to Him. Blesssings to ya.

so there is a girl who i have been hanging out with reccently and has told me that she likes me. i may have feelings for her too but i am a Christian and follow the guidlines i am given. this girl recently has turned to God and has given up her past of what has happened to her including losing her virginity. im not sure what the rules are of dating anyone with this sort of sutuation. do you have any advice of what to do?

This is a question for your pastor or priest, or some other leading figure within your church. The only universal rule among Christians regarding dating practices is no sex before marriage, and your church may have other rules that your pastor/priest can tell you about.

It’s also something that you should talk to her about, if you start a relationship. Decide where your "limits" are and how the relationship is going to work.

My friend has a 16 year old daughter ‘Kayla’. Kayla has been dating this guy for about a year and her mom found her cell phone and started reading the text messages. This is what some said:

"Text me back. This isn’t f**king funny"
"You will call me back if you know what is good for you."
"I want to go further than just oral…"
"Call me back or I’ll kill myself"
"I hate God and I hope I burn in h*ll"

My friend and her family are apostolic Christians and after finding these text messages, she made her daughter and him break up. She said if he doesn’t leave the family alone, she might have him arrested (since Kayla was only 15 when they started dating). What is some good advice I can give my friend? Thank you very much **hugs**

I would say good for her mother to get rid of that kid. Taking the phone to his parents might be another good idea. This isn’t funny. The police could know this as well.

These days, people kill for anything, and kids do it even. This should not be taken lightly.

Im a christian single male dating a christian single woman, we look to possible marry. I’m not comfortable pursuing anything any further because of the relationship and current connection (communication) with her childrens father who is in prison. I think to a certain degree the relationship and communication should only be about the children and kept to a minimum. She disagrees. My issues are the way she carries out tasks for him, they act like they were married. My biggest issue is the emotional tie between the two of them. Please help I need advice on the does and donts.

Head for the hills, brother.

In desparate need of dating advice, as seems everything i do is wrong, was looking at the ebooks. But seem like a scam, anybody have info?

A better way to learn/improve dating would be to actually practice dating in real life socially. Not studying it through a book. Think real-world experience.

I’m not talking about becoming a slut. Maybe you could start going out on dates with guys you normally would have turned down just to get comfortable with it. Don’t lead them on forever if you don’t like them but I bet before you know it, you’ll find yourself in love.

Got a question about dating and thought I would seek your advice. There is a girl I have gone on a couple (two) dates with. Nothing serious (no sex and not even kissed yet). There is another girl who I am tempted to ask out. The questions are as follows:

1) If a guy is not dating a girl seriously do you see a problem with him asking someone else out?

2) If you were the second girl would you say no solely based upon the fact that the guy is currently going on date with another girl?

Once again the girl I have gone on dates with is not serious and not sure where it is going. And this other girl has kind of caught my eye and since I am not serious with the other thinking of asking her out. I appreciate any advice. I prefer Christian answers but will take any good advice.
kellieebrooke – I am interested in the first girl but not sure if it will go anywhere. And for some reason this other girl just really caught my attention and not even sure if she is interested. I am just thinking of asking her out. Who knows probably neither one will be the one I spend forever with.

Personally, I don’t mind a guy i’m dating to be seeing other women.
As long as we both know that nothing is exclusive, I don’t see why I have the right to be upset. I’ve been raised a non-practicing Christian but have been attending church for over a year on my own, but I also have a very relaxed dating attitude.

Ask yourself why you’re dating the first girl, because dating is supposed eventually lead to marraige, right? If you feel like she’s just not ‘the one’ then you owe it to tell her that you’re just not that into her, which leaves you free and clear to date number two.

Hope that helps!